Sod the pretending.

Sod the pretending. Sod the acting like it doesn’t happen to us all. Forget the keeping up appearances. Who are we doing it for anyway? It certainly doesn’t benefit us, keeping it all in, pretending our heads aren’t about to explode from time to time. And it definitely doesn’t help other mothers, the one’s who’s turn it is to have a bed morning, a bed week, a bad month. How does keeping up the pretence help them? It simply perpetuates the feeling that it’s just you who is struggling, only you who lost it whilst trying to get the kids to school, only you who feels overwhelmed at times, and that, that leads to a whole heap load of mum guilt.

It isn’t just you, it isn’t just me. We all find it hard sometimes, we all lose our shit from time to time, it happens to us all. Some just hide it better.

Not me. I can’t be bothered to smile through the stress and pretend to people that I’m not on the edge of tears. I don’t care what they think because I’m not the only one to cry on the bloody school run and I refuse to pretend everything’s rosy when it’s not.

Some mornings I shout, some morning I’m stressed, other mornings I lovingly walk them into school full of pride and contentment. Ups and downs, twists and turns, that’s reality. Some mornings, like this morning, after weeks of being ground down by sock, shoe, trouser, what the hell ever tantrums, I lose my shit. I cry on the phone to my husband, I drive to work and I scream whilst listening to emo rock on full blast and momentarily I reminisce about the ease of life as a child free 20 something.

I am still a good mother. I am still a mum who loves her children more than life itself. I am still a mum who would do anything for them, one who is protective and supportive, nurturing and loving. I am just human.

Finding it hard sometimes, being worn down by the tantrums, shouting, crying, wanting to be alone, none of it makes you a bad mum, it makes you a normal mum. Never feel like you are failing because trust me if you losing it from time to time means you’re failing, then behind the pretence and the brave faces, we are all failing.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: