New twin parents, I’m not going to sugar coat it, they can still be a handful and then some at the grand old age of 4.
Things definitely do get easier, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Of course they get easier because like all children they become more independent, self sufficient and slightly more patient, slightly.
The sleepless nights eventually pass but don’t be fooled into thinking all kids sleep through from 6 weeks and if yours doesn’t then they are broken or you’ve messed up, too much cuddles, too soft etc. These beauties didn’t sleep through consistently until around 3 and even up until 6 months ago they regularly found their way into our bed. Of course some babies do sleep and that’s wonderful but yours isn’t broken if it doesn’t.
Logistically things get easier. Trying to carry two car seats doesn’t last forever, eventually they do sit unaided and I promise they do finally listen instead of running in completely opposite directions. Yes, unfortunately they really do run rings round you for a while, sorry.
If they were prem the day does come when a cough that would have resulted in a hospital admission becomes simply a cough. That’s a day I never thought would come, but for many it really does.
In so so many ways it gets easier but of course new challenges come along. They don’t tend to listen to you much, why would they when they have their partner in crime to back them up in every mischievous decision. Dealing with two lots of any developing emotion at any stage of childhood AT ONCE is hard, it is normal for them to mash your head with their tag team style tantrums and unfounded rebellious actions. Little by little though they listen more and tantrum less, I promise.
Discipline can be challenging as their bond means they often laugh strait in your face and simply find encouragement and courage in one another, propelling their behaviour on and on. Pick your battles.
Love hate. Seriously I have never seen two children loath the sight of each other more then need to be sat virtually on top of each other the next. The closeness of a twins relationship brings with it all the cuteness you hope for when you hold your tiny newborns but also a whole heap load of refereeing arguments and fights.
No matter the challenges IT GETS EASIER, those who say it doesn’t have forgotten the first 2 years. Hell for most of us that first 2 years is a blur but although raising two individuals experiencing developmental changes at the same or similar pace is bloody hard the challenges do become less and less and less.
And, despite it all, all the ups and downs, the “I can’t cope with them” moments they are amazing. Raising twins is amazing. It is an insight into this special relationship and unspoken unshakable connection that truly is a blessing to witness. Earlier today these two were physically beating each other and screaming in one another’s faces with so much hatred it was horrible to watch, now they are snuggled up holding hands having just sang happy birthday to each other. There is no bond like a twin bond and it makes ALL the tricky bits fade away.
Happy 4th birthday boys and well done to us for 4 years of amazing highs and bloody stressful lows, we wouldn’t change any of it for the world.