PTSD locks a part of who you are away and holds it prisoner to the past. It changes you without you knowing that it’s happening and it makes you question yourself and chastise yourself for things which are out of your control.
PTSD wraps itself around your mind and your life. It causes you to have flashbacks, forceful raw emotions, visions and memories bursting forward, often when you least expect it.
PTSD makes you purposely avoid places, sounds, smells and anything else which takes you back to a certain time or event. PTSD preoccupies your thoughts with subtle memories without you even noticing until your mind is then consumed.
PTSD coils itself around your emotions, twisting them and taking them out of your control. It brings you to your knees for things that have long past. It turns a smile to a tear without warning or explanation. PTSD sits like a heavy hollow in the pit of your stomach, empty yet present, uncertain, unclear yet forceful.
PTSD is ever present yet often disguised, hiding away until you think it’s gone all together only for it to burst out of the shadows once again.
PTSD does not mean you are crazy, it does not mean you are weak, it does not mean you are dwelling on the past and it is not your fault. PTSD means you’ve experienced trauma and your mind is struggling to heal itself, just like a body struggles to repair itself sometimes. Just because the scars are hidden it doesn’t mean they aren’t there, but just like scars on our skin, with time and a little TLC they can heal.
Stay strong, don’t punish yourself for the scars you bare and never be ashamed.