This was taken almost 3 years ago, how?!
God I do wish sometimes I could pop back for just an afternoon to those early days where I was on maternity leave, the eldest hadn’t started preschool and the twins were babies still. I wish I could still lift them both up of the floor at the same time and swing them onto my hips, god that was a skill. I wish I could do crafts with my eldest whilst the twins napped. I wish I could be in that bubble again where it was the four of us, together all day getting through and to sound cliche, making memories.
When I close my eyes I can feel once again the fog of exhaustion, the sounds of a little voice, babies chatter and a jumperoo. I can smell the puréed food that I’d spent hours making and I can feel all three of their tiny cuddles and kisses. I can feel the overwhelming emotions of relief and gratitude that we had brought our babies home and I was Mummy to three little beauty boys. I can almost reach out and grab them all, pull them close and smell their perfect little heads.
It was tough at the time, it’s no doubt tough for every single multiples Mummy reading this who are still in the baby stage. You the tiered, they are demanding, you have one pair of hands they are multiples. None of it is straight forward, non of it is easy, non of it is without pangs of guilt and self doubt and it can feel like it will never get easier again, but one day in the not so distant future you too will close your eyes, submerge yourself back into those crazy days and wish you could reach out and experience it all again, if only just for an afternoon.
Keep strong, believe in yourself, accept help, don’t pressurise yourself and most of all don’t worry that you won’t remember those early days through the haze, they are being imprinted on your soul without you even knowing it. You are amazing xxx