I don’t think I’m alone in feeling completely comfortable with sharing the negative, stressful and difficult side of parenting and life in general whether just amongst friends or on a blog like this but then struggling to share the moments when we feel on cloud 9, so in love and happy and as though our lives are absolutely perfect.
I’ve noticed since becoming a mother that the word perfect has got a seriously bad rap, people seem to think it means someone is claiming their whole life is perfect, like they’re kids don’t irritate them and they never row with their other half and I think this has contributed to the seeming lack of willingness to say you know what today was pretty awesome.
We worry other mums will judge us or say behind our backs ‘who does she think she is’ type comments. I’ve heard them for myself at baby and toddler groups, people taking someone’s willingness to share their happy days as some sort of proclamation they have it all.
I’ve been guilty on so many occasions of writing a status declaring my love for my family and then not posting it, I’m worried about looking smug or as though I think I’m better than everyone else.
Well I’m tiered of holding back the smushy fearing people’s judgement but then happily writing the raw honest truth about the bad without the slightest concern for other people’s opinions.
The truth is we all have highs and lows, good and bad days, we all swing from thinking we could throttle our kids to thinking they must surely be THE most beautiful angel like children alive. We all go from thinking our other half is an idiot at times to thinking he’s the hottest most amazing man alive and we all have days where life seems like a struggle and we feel down but then the next we can feel like everything is perfect.
Perfect doesn’t mean everyone’s laughing and smiling all the time, it doesn’t mean no one gets annoyed and you and your husband spend the evenings staring into each other’s eyes. Perfect doesn’t mean your happy all day everyday and that your kids don’t have tantrums in the supermarket or refuse to wear a coat in the rain.
Perfect means it’s perfect for you! It means it’s gritty, it’s real life and you plod along like everyone else but there’s no man or woman you’d rather plod along with. It means your kids can be total pains in the arse but their your pains in the arse and you wouldn’t change them for the world. It’s all the imperfect moments that we all live through that make us realise when we have those mushy days where we cry (happy tears) just from looking at our partner or kids that it’s perfect for you.
Personally my life is pretty perfect. You all know from my blog that the day to day certainly isn’t glossy magazine perfect but I love my husband more today than yesterday and I know I’ll love him even more tomorrow, we’re a team that take on life and our three little troublesome boys together and I admire, respect and adore him. My boys make me whole and happy everyday, whether that’s a tiny part of the day or a big part, they are the most beautiful, caring (at times) funny little boys and I couldn’t be prouder of them. It’s my life, difficult at times but to me it’s PERFECT!
Let’s embrace perfect and redefine it, let’s take away the bitter assumptions that someone’s making out their life’s amazing 24/7 and instead realise it’s just a normal mum saying a small part of today made me feel mushy inside, like it’s all worthwhile and I want to celebrate that. If we don’t celebrate our own perfect days and perfect moments no one else will.